This morning my dog though I was an intruder when I opened the door. The refrigerator door…..
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lovely video game art ✿ the world ends with you
My mother once told me that trauma is like Lord of the Rings. You go through this crazy, life-altering thing that almost kills you (like say having to drop the one ring into Mount Doom), and that thing by definition cannot possibly be understood by someone who hasn’t gone through it. They can sympathize sure, but they’ll never really know, and more than likely they’ll expect you to move on from the thing fairly quickly. And they can’t be blamed, people are just like that, but that’s not how it works.
Some lucky people are like Sam. They can go straight home, get married, have a whole bunch of curly headed Hobbit babies and pick up their gardening right where they left off, content to forget the whole thing and live out their days in peace. Lots of people however, are like Frodo, and they don’t come home the same person they were when they left, and everything is more horrible and more hard then it ever was before. The old wounds sting and the ghost of the weight of the one ring still weighs heavy on their minds, and they don’t fit in at home anymore, so they get on boats go sailing away to the Undying West to look for the sort of peace that can only come from within. Frodos can’t cope, and most of us are Frodos when we start out.
But if we move past the urge to hide or lash out, my mother always told me, we can become Pippin and Merry. They never ignored what had happened to them, but they were malleable and receptive to change. They became civic leaders and great storytellers; they we able to turn all that fear and anger and grief into narratives that others could delight in and learn from, and they used the skills they had learned in battle to protect their homeland. They were fortified by what had happened to them, they wore it like armor and used it to their advantage.
It is our trauma that turns us into guardians, my mother told me, it is suffering that strengthens our skin and softens our hearts, and if we learn to live with the ghosts of what had been done to us, we just may be able to save others from the same fate."
|-||S.T.Gibson (via modernhepburn)|
Graduated high school.Kissed someone. Collected something really stupid.Smoked a cigarette. Got so drunk you passed out. Rode every ride at an amusement park.Gone to a rock concert. Helped someone. Gone fishing. Watched four movies in one night.Gone long periods of time without sleep. Lied to someone.Snorted cocaine. Failed a class.Smoked weed. Dealt drugs. Been in a car accident. Been in a tornado.Done hard drugs (i.e. ecstasy, heroin, crack, meth, acid). Watched someone die. Been to a funeral. Burned yourself.Ran a marathon. Cried yourself to sleep. Spent over $200 in one day.Flown on a plane. Cheated on someone. Been cheated on. Written a 10 page letter. Gone skiing. Been sailing. Had a best friend. Lost someone you loved.Shoplifted something. Been to jail. Dangerously close to being in jail. Skipped school. Had detention. Got in trouble for something you didn’t do.Stolen books from the library. Gone to a different country.
Dropped out of school. Been in a mental hospital.
Watched the “Harry Potter” movies. Had an online diary.Fired a gun. Had a yard sale.Had a lemonade stand. Actually made money at the lemonade stand. Been in a school play. Been fired from a job. Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins. Gone to sea world. Voted for someone on a reality TV show.
Written poetry. Read more than 20 books a year.Gone to Europe. Loved someone you shouldn’t have. Used a coloring book over age 12. Had surgery. Had stitches. Taken a taxi. Seen the Washington Monument. Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once.
Overdosed. Had a drug or alcohol problem. Been in a fist fight. Gone surfing in California.
Had a hamster.Pet a wild animal. Used a credit card. Did “spirit day” at school.Dyed your hair.
Got a tattoo. Had something pierced.
Got straight A’s. Been on the Honor Roll.Known someone with HIV or AIDS. Made out with someone. Played on a sports team.Sexted. Been to NYC.Snuck out of the house. Given a blowjob. Swore at a teacher. Gone laser tagging.Had a boyfriend/girlfriend. Been on the TV.French braided. Skinny-dipped. Driven a car. Performed in front of an audience.Been in love. Been on a train.Seen a ghost. Gone bungee-jumping. Been to Mexico. Crashed a car. Sky dived. Been kissed in the rain. Been to your states capital. Made an 11:11 wish. Drank alcohol. Made a mistake.
Her name is Kylie Simonds. please don’t forget her name.
Kylie Simonds you are a badass of the highest order and I salute you. I would also like an IV pack for my infusions? You rock, kid.